The Creative Permission Slip

Being a Jack-of-All-Trades in modern times is a curse. The world we live in wants you to be one-sided: an Instagram grid filled with photos using the same color palette, a Youtube channel devoted to one subject. If you’re random and erratic with what you create and post, it’s confusing for people… and the algorithm. 

This issue has plagued me since I can remember. I have been creating since I could hold a crayon…  or stack blocks or pick my own outfit. The world has always been my canvas. If there is space to be creative, I will be. It makes me happy. But yeah, if you want to be creative as a career, switching media constantly makes it really hard to build a stable income. I found that out the hard way multiple times. Long story short, I’m now a full-time teacher.

I love teaching, but I’ve been hungry to create real, physical things. And yet, I was scared: after so many artistic career failures, I’ve been afraid to do anything. I can’t post a painting on Instagram, what if people think I’m starting that up for real again? I can’t post a Youtube video for the same reason. People will judge me for being unable to focus.

So, I just played Minecraft for two straight years and didn’t show anyone anything I made. It was so, so relaxing.

But I still felt the urge to make physical things, to make the world a more beautiful and interesting place. I told a dear friend about this issue, and luckily my friend is also a life coach. It was New Year’s Day, and I wanted to make some resolutions or lists or goals or something, but here is what my dear friend told me:

“Sounds like you should just do whatever the hell you want, Hambro.”

This was a novel concept. I can just… do whatever I want… what, with no strings attached?

“Yeah, why not?” She was incredulous, but I was serious.

OK, turns out I may have some unresolved trauma regarding ADHD and feeling unaccepted and misunderstood. But you know what? Fuck that.

I love doing lots of things. I want to do lots of things. And I want to do them without having to do them forever, or making a career out of them, unless I want to of course. I just needed to give myself permission. So I made this permission slip. I used a fancy pen. I used fancy language. I signed it. Then I put it up on my fridge.

And I have been having so much fun ever since. I have made paintings, a Youtube video, and now this blog. I am redoing my website to better reflect who I am, and all of the things I do. Screw the algorithm. I am chaotic, and my output will be too. If you don’t like it, you don’t have to consume it.

Because in the end, I can do whatever the hell I want. I highly suggest you do the same. I am finally free.